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Some things in life are unavoidable. We all know about death and taxes, but being stuck with sports-obsessed friends and family when youre not a fan is another one of lifes inevitabilities.
Because were deep in the heart of football season (I know it seems like its always football season), we thought it might be time for some quick pointers to help you navigate all those viewing parties and other social interactions that center around game broadcasts. Here are seven tips to help you save face the next time you wind up in a sports-crazed conversation.
1. Do a Little Homework
You cant get something for nothing, and faking sports knowledge is no exception. But before you get too worried about a torturous cram session, relax. You dont have to learn everything, just a few key points like the difference between a Ute and a Trojan to impress your uncle whos a fan of the Pac-12 (a group of universities in the Western US that play sports against each other). It also helps to learn the names of a player or two and at least one key fact about big events like the Super Bowl.
2. Follow the Leader
One of the best ways to fake it during a game is to pick another member of the group from whom you can take your cues. Find someone who seems to know whats going on and watch for clues about when to cheer or when to talk some smack about the ref. One word of warning: dont pick the odd man out whos rooting for the other teamyou may not know enough to defend your unpopular devotion.
3. Comment about the D
D, in sports lingo, means defense. Almost every single game in the world comes down to whether the defense was strong or not. To make sure you use the term correctly, stay tuned in to the person youre copying (see tip number two). As soon as you hear them say anything positive about the defense, its time to act. Throw out That was some strong D, and then drop the mic before you head to the other room to refresh your drink.
4. Use Technology
If you cant manage to follow tip number one before you get stuck in a sports conversation, you can still fumble your way through. Using the magic of smartphones and the omniscient power of Google, you can find out what things like Deflategate and stinger mean. Pretend to check your email or answer a text, then sneak in some valuable talking points on the sly.
5. Avoid Team Clothing
Its tempting to throw on a T-shirt or other team-themed clothing item to try and blend in, but if youre not a real fan, donning a hat or jersey could be risky. You never know what the team or player youre representing might mean to the sports fanatics youre trying to impress. If you choose the wrong way to show your fake team pride, you could unintentionally cause confrontation.
6. Remain Neutral
Avoid the urge to start talking trash along with your buddies. Instead of jumping on the negative bandwagon when you hear a derogatory comment, its better to simply nod or shake your head. A few murmured words of disbelief will further your quest for sports cred more than a blurted-out insult that may take the trash talk further than youor anyone else in the roomintended.
7. Learn One Go-To Fact
A sure way to navigate a tte--tte about sports is to share some really cool, totally obscure sports trivia. Whether its a killer story or a little-known fact, commit it to memory and share it every time you find yourself trapped with an athletics-obsessed family member. Even if youre not up-to-date on the latest amazing play or most recent off-the-field scandal, at least youll have one little nugget that you can use to impress. Just remember not to repeat it to the same people over and over again.
Surviving in a world full of sports fans can be a challenge, but hopefully these tips will help you navigate this foreign land like a pro. Let us know in the comments which tip youre ready to put into action before this weeks big game.
